Saturday, July 02, 2005
After handing over most of my salary and signing an IOU with my sister and mum, I've managed to shut them up for now. Praise God that I'm left without nothing so I guess they won't be bugging me for now. Though I've long quitted soccer betting, it still seems I'm not debts free. In fact, I'm starting to believe my life evolves around debts that is, mine or others very own. Just when I managed to clear my very own, the Devil will stuff a new IOU with a new Thank You note up my arse on behalf one of my sisters. The cycle will never ends yah? Did the thought of me dying and them losing me as a cashcow ever crossed their ever selfish minds?

I'm grotesque. It's a fact. It's pretty true I've nothing much to offer too. But I'm more than willing to give up my all and face anything that is, if she's willing to be with me. That IS, if she wants to be with me. Something is eating me up from within. I'm suffocating. My spirit is all long broken and the pain is far beyond I could bear. I wanna cry but I can't. The silence is deafening. The night is blind. Yet I know he's always there for me. Yes, the most Unclean.

In no mood and has no time to thank anyone today. Ought to rush to work too.

Ending with one of my very own quote though;

"Love is not all about possession."
"Neither Love is bout showering sympathy."
"As long as I've witnessed you've pursued True happiness,"
"I'll be contented and it will marks the End of me."- Alvin Yeo