Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Sorry for ending my blog abruptly yesterday. For I'm nearly caught in the act blogging by my bosses during working hours. Come to think about it, my colleagues pretty right on that fact that I might be insane. Despite my desk being infront theirs, I still surf eBay, taking web tickle tests, MSNing, the list goes on and on (no porno flicks though). Simply put, I can't contribute any shit right now. My passport being impounded(OOPS), they can't send me to Indonesia, Philipines, for technical matters. And, to rub it in, everyone in the office are so pre-occupied with their work. And how much I hate, to beg them to allocate me some jobs to do. I'm basically in a world my very own. "Blissful, dreamjob", these were the comments my dear friends gave to me. But, as each day passed, I just felt my brain deterioting as well as the great sense of worthlessness building up within me.

It's exactly a week from my 'judgement' day. And I really don't feel good about it all. I'm used to comfort my peers, my loved ones when they are in trouble. But who, in God's name, to offer me a shoulder, I could cry upon(my pillow of cos!)? I know I might had sinned horrendously, but still, here I am, hoping I could be pardoned, and get away with just a fine that day. I dread this feeling as I count down the last few days from my 'death'. For the past week, everything in this world seems so wonderful and beautiful. Childrens' laughter ever seems so joyous, the lights and the crowd seems so radiant, warm and 'lively'.

No doubt, I could be the one whom might be deprived from all these next week. Isolated from my loved ones, locked up, cold, 'dead' and alone.

This mistake has costed me dear.


Salvation is near.